Your Pelvic Floor Is Talking. Are You Listening?

You laughed too hard and leaked a little. You sneezed and had to cross your legs first. You feel a heaviness down there at the end of a long day that nobody warned you about.

You told yourself it was normal. Maybe someone even told you it was.

It's common. But common and normal are not the same thing. And your pelvic floor has been trying to tell you something.

What Your Pelvic Floor Actually Is

Most women go through pregnancy, birth, and the years after without anyone ever explaining what the pelvic floor actually does.

It's a group of muscles and connective tissue that sits like a hammock at the base of your pelvis. It supports your bladder, bowel, and uterus. It manages intra-abdominal pressure every time you lift, cough, sneeze, jump, or laugh. It's involved in core function, hip stability, and sexual health. It works in coordination with your deep core muscles — including your diaphragm and transverse abdominis — as a pressure management system.

When it's working well, you don't notice it. When it isn't, your body starts sending signals.

The Signals Most Women Ignore

Leaking. Any leaking — whether it's a few drops when you sneeze or more when you exercise — is a signal worth paying attention to. It typically means the pelvic floor isn't generating enough force to manage the pressure increase. This is sometimes called stress urinary incontinence, and it's one of the most underreported and undertreated postpartum symptoms.

Heaviness or pressure. A feeling of pressure, fullness, or like something is falling out — especially at the end of the day or after standing for long periods — can be a sign of pelvic organ prolapse. This is where one or more pelvic organs descend into or beyond the vaginal walls. It sounds alarming, and it warrants attention, but it's also far more common postpartum than most women know. Many cases are manageable with the right support.

Pain. Pain during sex, pain sitting, pain that you've been quietly living with and calling normal — this is your pelvic floor signaling that something needs care. Pain is not a character flaw and it is not something to push through.

Urgency or frequency. Feeling like you need to go constantly, or barely making it in time, can point to an overactive or hypertonic pelvic floor — meaning muscles that are too tight rather than too weak. This is often missed because people assume pelvic floor problems are always about weakness.

The Thing Nobody Tells You About Kegels

When most women hear "pelvic floor," they think kegels. And when kegels are the right tool and performed properly (read: it is NOT like stopping your pee), they help. But kegels are a contraction exercise. If your pelvic floor is already too tight — which is common after birth, especially after a difficult delivery, instrumental delivery, or long pushing phase — kegels can make things worse.

The pelvic floor needs to be able to contract and relax. Both. A muscle that can't fully release is just as impaired as one that can't fully contract.

This is why working with a pelvic floor specialist matters. We can assess whether your issue is a strength issue, a coordination issue, or a tension issue — and give you the right tools for your specific situation.

Where to Start Right Now

You don't have to wait for things to get worse before you take this seriously.

Start with breath. Core Centric Breathing (which I teach in my CORE Formula program) is the foundation of pelvic floor coordination. When you inhale, your pelvic floor gently lowers. When you exhale, it gently lifts. Practicing this connection daily is the starting point for everything else.

Try this: sit comfortably, hand on your belly. Inhale slowly and feel your ribs expand and your pelvic floor soften. Exhale and feel both gently return. Do this for five breaths. That's reconnection, not a workout — and it's the right place to begin.

What Comes Next

If any of this sounds familiar, you're not broken and you're not beyond help. What you are is a woman whose body went through something extraordinary and who deserves more than "that's just what happens after you have kids."

Start with the DR Self-Check (click to sign up) to understand what's happening with your tummy and core — it's free and takes just a few minutes. And if you're ready to take a more guided approach to your pelvic floor and full core recovery, the Mamafit Roadmap walks you through exactly that, at whatever pace works for your life.

Your body has been talking. It's worth listening.

Mindy Lagdameo is the co-founder of ThriveLife and the creator of Mamafit — postpartum recovery programming for moms who are ready to feel like themselves again. Find her on Instagram @coachmamamindy.fit.